"´¨`·..♥ * » § I FEEL STRANGE, MOSTLY BECAUSE I AM. § « * ♥..·´¨`"

woe is me. its such a bad day. bad beginning of the week. i just hope it will get better. (i don't want to talk about it.

i'm downloading all the contents of knifecrime.org onto carl's laptop that's now working except backspace & ctrl don't work and several letters have to be pressed very very hard. which is making typing very very slow. woe. oh well, at least it's turning on semi normally now.. i'm going to be changing hosts and i'm scared i'll lose all the content in the process (probably not but better safe than sorry) not that my old host has emailed me back about it (no one emails me back.)

oh hey me melodramatic. i've got hormonal distress to the max and it's so much worse than usually. i'm not usually in this crazy bitch mode. i'm like a farce of a female. like i'm in a 'hilarious' bad sitcom.

i have to come up with (at least) £260 for my student loan interest by 15th june. this worries me fucking alot. that's £43 i need to put aside a week. mum said they might be able to help a bit if i can't get it all together, but obvs i'd pay them back. fuck.

in other news i've been ditching hollyoaks for enders lately. this may or may not be due to tortured gay denial story lines. (my favourite kind.) and carl's just finished his first day at oxfam, i expect. i need to assemble some zines. and my headphones have died after a month of use. and bitch at argos didn't give me a receipt when i returned the first pair that didnt work at all so obvs i can't exchange. woe woe woe. woe.

hey kids, i needs your help. i've got a rather important job application to fill in and i really don't know whether my "statement" or whatever bit is any good. could you please read it and tell me if its any good and suggest any changes at all? (i'm looking at you, msdaccxx & tartpants here, cos i knows you know at least something about these things, right?)

( more more more )

i need your help ASAP cos the application needs to be returned by FRIDAY. and i rather send it out tomorrow after work than shit myself thursday morning. thank you in advance!

and in other news, i'm being all stupid especially today because i'm stressing about that stupid application and thus been really fucking annoying at carl. and now i'm in the library with the laptop on my own with his hairdye i bought on my way here. and i should probs go back home asap because i've been here for almost two hours. oops.

god, i hate today intensely. yesterday was bad enough, lugging all the crap from the wastin' my time studio into my flat (because they're getting kicked out, and they don't have a new place yet. it's all extremely fucked up) and carl being cranky as hell for that reason and wah. but today, fuck me, today.. work was ok i guess, but on the way to the studio to help carl with the last of the shite i went to check my bank balance cos my water bill's going out tomorrow. and wtf, i'm overdrawn by £9.40 or something. so i have a massive panicky spaff, as you would do at the thought of no moneys when you got bills to pay and how this country likes to charge you shitloads for going overdrawn when you don't have an overdraft. and then one of the carrier bags of carl's rubbish broke half way and i had a meltdown and carl threw all his birthday money at me (i borrowed £40) and stormed off and yaye. i walked to the bank while crying on the phone to mama, she's skint as fuck too, but until the end of the month, not thursday like yours truly. anyway this is where it gets a bit better (so far) i went to the bank and the lady said i won't get charged since i'm putting money in the day i went overdrawn (though i spent the money last night, who knows) which is good. but the cunts at emusic.com had charged me another £8.99 on valentine's day instead refunding me the previous £8.99. cunts. so that's why i'm in the library. i've just told them off. i was supposed get my hair cut by miss ellie from work at three today, but luckily i bumped into her just as i was sending her a text asking if she'd come at half past instead. so yeah, i'm giving her a ring once i leave this place (which is in a bit) and we'll meet up in town and then go cut hair off off off, via getting the ironing board from the studio..

also carl couldn't find the lovefilm dvd's at his house monday. and we've had them since like.. last wednesday. i want to watch the rest and get rid of them!

yeah, hopefully it's going to continue a bit better, or i'll break stuff. i've got two chicken breasts in the fridge that have to be eaten today. carl says he'll make us a nice chicken curry. i really need it to be nice, i might cry otherwise.

i need to do something ziney and useful tonight that's not housework related. might otherwise cry. again.

what is it, "tell tukru how shit she is" week? seriously. and i really don't need people telling me how to live my life. nice timing kids, poking a stick at a menstrual lady, it's worse than a bear shot in the arse (a finnish saying, that.) fuck the fuck off.

my hot water bottle is my new best friend. and carl substitute when he's not here. he was only just here for lunch and patting my head, and i miss him already. and when he goes home, only for like three days a week, he gets barraged with questions about when he's going to move out. it's like they're trying to get rid of him.. nice.

i had decided to stop worrying so much this year and this is how far i got. can i have more than a week and a bit when things are ok and semi stable? it's not too much to ask, is it?

there's a gang of emo kids who are always hanging about in the library when i go there. this makes me smile and giggle every time. emo kids. in the library. they're never reading though.