zine

Nov. 14th, 2009 05:58 pm
noitakerho: (naps & kittens)


quick scans )

this issue is a split with one of my favourite zinesters, maranda elizabeth of telegram ma'am. it's pretty epic, 70 pages all together! i write about my brother visiting, are birthdays happy, going to brighton, meeting long distance friends & my newly discovered depression. maranda writes about riding her bike jolene and fighting anxiety, loneliness, small town adventures negativity, zine gatherings and more!

i'm getting even worse at these descriptions.

1/4 size, 70 pages.

VAMPIRE SUSHI DISTRO
my etsy shop.
noitakerho: (naps & kittens)

vampire sushi distro is a new UK based zine distro looking for submissions! mainly perzines, art zines, food zines, but everything goes! obviously no homophobic / racist / sexist etc material. leave the hating to the haters. vampire sushi is for lovers.

email us at vampiresushidistro (a) googlemail.com for the address & more info.


- - - -- - - - --

yeah. me and carl decided to start a distro. two weeks ago actually. while trying to buy him new trousers one wednesday afternoon. it was his idea.

noitakerho: (naps & kittens)


YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL #7 is now available at my etsy shop. with handcoloured unicorn covers. (some of them vomit rainbows!) if it sells out for some reason, let me know. i've got a fuckload in stock, just can't be arsed to list all 40 of them in one go. same with everything else.

edit: i forgot the badges. there are some YOUR PRETTY FACE badges too!

noitakerho: (naps & kittens)
just a quick reminder that i'll be tabling at london zine symposium at rag factory (heneage street, just off brick lane) sunday. and YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL issue SEVEN is done and you can get it from me there for £2 along with all the other ones. and on etsy monday probs when i get back. gots to go, i'm knackered, still got zines to colour and [livejournal.com profile] alchemywow wants her laptop back.
noitakerho: (the filijonk who was afraid of disasters)


YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING STRAIGH TO HELL #6 is out now.

pages )

this issue is mainly about three things: 1) my boyfriend moving in + the adult problems caused by that, 2) feeling lonely and friendless and 3) the winter and how shit it is in england and way better in finland..

also has our two best evs chilli recipies. one meaty and one veggie, + one for sexy veggie filled jacket potatoes.

i'm no good at these descriptions.

comes with handcoloured covers.

1/4 size, 38 pages.

knifecrime.etsy.com
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


i made Super Mushroom / PowerUp muffins last night!
(the milky bar buttons got a bit skanky by the food colouring while in a wee food bag in my bag. poop. i figured it was easier to bring the cakes to work rather than take a picture at home and bring the camera. the laptop's still fucked and the desktop is at carl's house supposedly being pimped..)

carl said that was probably the most emo / nerdiest thing we've ever baked.

in other news, i think i've almost finished your pretty face issue four by accident. i've already got 33 pages and that's without intro or recipies or any of my silly frills that are usually almost 10 pages. oops. how the fuck did me being prolific happen? (oh yeah, cos i had all that semi written down in a computer already.....)

that reminds me, i need to go to staples and make more flyers to shove in orders.
noitakerho: (gimme brains for breakfast <3)


"Pearls!" burst out the Snork maiden excitedly. "Could ankle-rings be made out of pearls?"
"I should think they
could," said Moomintroll. "Ankle-rings and nose-rings and ear-rings and engagement rings...."
"That's a question for later," the Snork cut in, thumping furiously with his pencil. **
"not if they are made of pearls," said the Snork maiden. "Now you've broken the point of your pencil again. Doesn't anybody want to eat this evening?"


from "Comet in Moominland" by Tove Jansson


- - -



<3 <33 <3 i love my moomin books from the library that hadn't been touched by civillians / borrowed in ten plus years until me. i think i might start collecting vintage moomin books.. they so pretty.

i don't have much to say. this midmorning after spending all of last night (and this morning, i woke up at 9am. WTF) flicking through channels and moaning at my own incapapilities (all in my head) i started writing again (26 pages so far... and i haven't even proof written one of the 'stories' i had..) i should propably work on the cooking one too.. it's just writing the recipies down..

oven baking falafel didn't really work out. it all just fell to bits. i guess deep frying is the only way. and there were no value big packets of flour at tescos so i didn't bake my precious muffins. actually there's still one left from last week's patch. mmmh. muffins. actually, i might just make them tomorrow when carl comes back. and make some 1Up cakes. or power up cakes (red) because we're super awesome. but nowhere near as awesome as this.

i managed to scavenge a roll up worth tobacco from bag carl had abandoned in the smoking box. yaye.
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


sample pages )

when i finished issue 2, i thought i was going to start writing issue 3 right away with all my free time and freedom, but somehow that didn't happen. apart from a few pages, most of this issue was written five or six months (and more) later.

this issue is about being a proper grown up. or something. there are bits about moving in to my little flat, work (& being very frustrated by it), worrying about pennies and bills, the exhibition i had in london with some of my old college friends in november '07, feeling like a failure in 'artist' sense, wanting to escape medway, being crap at being social, plans of carl moving in, going to ikea and other things. obviously there's some recipies too.

1/4 size, 46 pages.

available at my etsy shop: KNIFECRIME.ETSY.COM

sadly, i'm not really doing trades right now, too skint. unless maybe if i've traded with you before and stuffff...

(i've only got a couple of copies listed on etsy, but i've got more. if the listing sells out just let me know, i'll get some more up and stuff.. i'm just on my way to go make a big pile of copies.. i've also added some more of the older zines on there!)
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


i've got 4 copies of my new zine YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING STRAIGHT TO HELL #3, and i'm going to make more copies when they're sold. so buy them so i can make more and actually post about it on [livejournal.com profile] zine_scene etc.. i'll do swapsies once i've made the next patch too.

i also added copies of YES DARLING BUT IS IT ART? #2, and more of YOUR PRETTY FACE #2 & KERSA X #3, incase you haven't got them yet, and want them..

KNIFECRIME.ETSY.COM
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)
yesterday morning i was rudely awakened by the door buzzer and knocking on my window at 5.18am by the kent police. wahey. crazy lady from upstairs said one of the crackwhores had tried to stab someone. i don't know. blissfully oblivious or something. i discovered then that the bedroom curtains are far too light and i can't get back to sleep after my daily randomly waking up for no reason sometime between 5 and 6. i probably hadn't realised it before because i had had carl to cuddle (except during the weekend..)

i'm at the library on one of those horrendously ancient computers where google chat doesn't work and it keeps not loading pictures in my friends list.

carl's coming back tonight after dinner and it makes me happy because i have a reason to make actual nice food. when it's just me, it doesn't really matter if it's dead nice.

i finally managed to add some zines from my box onto my etsy shop. i've currently got 4 COPIES of your pretty face is going straight to hell #3 left and i'm going make some more when i've sold those. (hint) i also put some yes darling but is it art?'s on there because i have a few extra left still. x
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


& i also have new shoes. fifteen english pounds i propably didn't really have to spread around like that. but they were on the sale, and i'd been eyeing them up since they first appeared on a shelf at the new look in the pentagon. i love them lots, with their sensible heels i think i can actually walk in without looking like an akward giraffe. i haven't test driven them outside yet (i bought them yesterday) because i keep thinking 'what if i realise i can't afford them and must return them' because obviously they don't take shoes that have been worn outdoors back. i'm such a dimwit sometimes. but i feel guilty for the shoes. though i guess at least they are not an impulse buy. but they so pretty. i've got similar brown ones from primark hiding somewhere that i bought ages on a semi whim and can't walk in them (yet) because they have the standard proper high heel.

anyway.

the weather's lovely and warm (i don't really want it much warmer though, as i like wearing clothes) but sadly it means the crackheads etc have gone mental and i've got a load of them next door. i spoke to the old lady from upstairs and she was telling me all sorts of stuff that i won't repeat because it's not reaally that interesting. but i've decided i should complain to the housing officer too, maybe something will be done then (enough people moaning, not because i moaned..) but then again, i'm still not entirely sure what the hell is going on. all i know there's people coming in and out all times of the day who obviously do not live there. and shouting. i don't really mind _that much_, but out of solidarity i guess.

i haven't had post for weeks on end, seems like months (but then again the zine symposium feels like a month away at least and i think it's only been 2 weeks now) other than some uninteresting ones from my landlord saying someone's coming to fix the shed (wahey) but today i got a letter from the council (more housing benefit! win!) and a lovely letter from [livejournal.com profile] photogirl which i have in my bag to read while walking since i finished my book this morning ("girl interrupted" by susanne kaysen. really liked it) and my headphones are still broken and i haven't bought new ones. i could go to argos today but i've decided that i'm not buying ANYTHING until i've run out of food and the fridge is stupidly full. i hope my bean and lentil loaf is still ok...(somehow i doubt it a bit.)

carl went home yesterday and he's not back until sometime sunday. oh well, maybe i'll get some things done. work on your pretty face #4 (i already have things, they just need to be typed up / written down prettily / be found...)

one more thing: when i was walking to the library, a man drove past me in a car and took a swig out of a large bottle that i'm 99.9% sure was whisky or other whisky coloured alcoholic beverage. isn't that just brilliant? i can't decide whether to laugh or cry about that. oh medway. ilu.

i'm off then. i've still got that reasonable pile of zines to assemble and staple that i've had since the monday after zine symposium, i just haven't had the something to actually make them, until now (i hope)

noitakerho: (Default)
i've been a horribly desperate mood for the most of the day. it's been rather unpleasant. but i found the envelope i had stashed the pages of Beat Torture while sorting out the closet (really don't understand why it was there underneath by photography box) i got so excited i spent 20p of my 34p credit to tell kasper.

i went to the london zine symposium yesterday though and it was not unpleasant. i went in with about 90 odd copies of various zines and came back with five. and a new bagful of other people's zines. and an extra £40 in my purse! would have been more but i bought some zines etc worth about £15 (oops) and some zines were stolen / mistaken as free from the individual zine table. boo. i'm tempted to make a post on [livejournal.com profile] zinescene_uk to see if any of the lj people thought they were free and if they'd have the heart to paypal me the £1 / £1.50 i missed out on. next year i'm so applying for a stall. if nothing else, so i can sit down and talk to randomers and not have anything go missing. cos even though i'm not particularly angry about it or anything, it's bothering me. poking at a little tiny bit of my brain that's rather annoyed. oh well. shut up, tiny bit! i'm not doing this for moneys.

i think i spent most of my three and a half hours there (i got stuck on the tube, stupid signal failure) talking to lizzy from marching stars distro & gave her a big pile of stock (ten copies of almost everything) and i gave some to pete from dead trees and dye distro and talked to kathleen who does a lovely zine called scratch that itch (i think it was her since we did swapsies) and i've decided to steal a brilliant tattoo idea from her. not that i've had any of the old ideas but who cares.

the sadness hit once i got home and spoke to carl on the phone and started feeling incredibly lonely and hopeless. i get that feeling when i come home from musical travels.

i've got a pizza dough rising in the bedroom (comfort pizza!) and when i leave the library i'm going to staples to make some more zines, and then home via tescos (more credit and onions) carl's coming back tomorrow i think. i'm not sure the hefner on my ancient (2001?) mixtape is helping the sadness though.

i want to make another zine right now.
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


i win at to do list today! i've done EVERY SINGLE THING on the list par the last two, but the night is still young. actually i didn't buy the callico because there was choices and i'm no good with decisions so i just got samples with prices and widths. that counts. going into the fashion bit at college is so unnerving. it makes me always feel like i'm not ______ (fill with superficial qualities) enough, which is unimportant but makes me feel uncomfortable. i bumped into a girl i photographed once for some fashion student's final project and she gave me her draft business card and i scribbled my email and url on a piece of pattern paper. you know, she might need help with something one day and be willing to part with cash for assistance. probably not, who knows.

it's hard to write properly on my lj these days. it's just a lot harder to be insightful or even truthful when you can't do it when the thought comes to you. i hate not having internets at home, but at the same time it's probably best, i'd never do anything else. or would i? i'm not sure. that's what happened when we got internets on boundary road. sigh.

sometimes i feel guilty about my staples self service copyscams. srsly. but today it wasn't my fault the nice girl punched in A4 self service copies instead of A3. & i used my £3 voucher too. so

yesterday the police came to see not me but some other people in my building about assault FOUR TIMES at least. and i had to let camp larry (who's flat they were at first..) into the building at 5.30 am cos he'd locked himself out. it's all asbo go go in my house. and when i turned to go back to bed i saw it was empty and thought carl had been kidnapped or something, two seconds later thought "oh he must have gone to the toilet while i wasn't looking" before realising he had actually gone home around 9. special.

i listed your pretty face is going straight to hell #3 on my etsy already, i'm going to write a proper description and take better photos later, it looks a bit wonky because i hadn't stapled it together because it was missing a page (fucked up one page last night. boo)
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)
i was a bit of a spanner on friday and only listed one copy of KERSA X #3 on etsy, like i usually do... i've listed some more now. to be honest, i was ill and in a hurry. luckily i'm not ill anymore. but i am in a hurry to go home to spend some time with missus before he goes home again and i'm left all alone. wah.

anyway, that's all for now. x
noitakerho: (äidin tyttö)


some of the pages )

i was going through some old photocopies the other day and i came across an unassembled copy of my old zine KERSA X #3, and i thought a re-print was in order. i originally printed this zine few weeks/days before i left finland to come to england to study, but i wrote it and re wrote it a while earlier.. this 82 page zine was the third version of it, i kept being unhappy with it and rewriting and adding pages until it became this monster.

the zine is simultaniously very text and image heavy (yes that is possible!) and it's mostly prose disguised as fiction but some of it is based on truth, some of it is just adolescent rocknroll fantasies. i don't seem to write in the same semi poetic manner anymore, i don't know what has happened, but i miss being that way.

i haven't made too many copies, and i'm not sure if i'm going to make any more copies because they are bloody annoying to staple.

1 / 6 size, 82 pages.

available at my etsy shop

vaults.

Mar. 20th, 2008 02:01 pm
noitakerho: (talkin smooth+play by rules(like a lady))
i was going through some old photocopies last night, and i found an unassembled copy of KERSA X #3 (for some reason it has to be written in capslock) from before i came to this country. and since i kinda really like it, i'm going to make a reprint. maybe even tonight, since i need to go re print some pages for that big pile of your pretty face #2 cos someone (me) is a spazz and fucked them up. i don't really understand how i did it since i'm super anal about photocopying, as in i don't trust anyone else to do it. except maybe carl.

i'm sorry, i've only got zines on the brain lately. that's really it. i managed to do five pages last night, go me. hopefully some more tonight.

i think i'll go home. i'm bored, and i still need to go return the studio keys to the art centre and check if the boys have any post there, buy carl an easter egg (or a chocolate baa baa lamb) and that trip to staples with arrends done on the way (rent). i wonder how it's open tomorrow, it being jesus day and all. i'm going to carl's tomorrow. hopefully i get a ride, i don't think the buses will be any good. sunday fucking service.

ps. DONT FORGET THE STRIKE, KIDS.
noitakerho: (talkin smooth+play by rules(like a lady))
i still maintain i make the most excellent pizza (i don't particularly want to cook anything else lately. what's wrong with me?) trying to figure out something to make tonight for me and the missus without having to buy much. yesterday i was only supposed to get some cheese for the pizza but somehow ended up with all sorts of things (salad, cherry tomatoes, yoghurt, cheese, an amazing lemon tart?) today we are going to buy carl man jammies (because jammie pants help him sleep, apparently) and i think i'm supposed to make another 30 copies of your pretty face #2 for that massive order i mentioned yesterday. oh fun. tomorrow we are going to go see the benefits advising lady to shut carl's mum up.

yesterday we went jammie hunting (not buying) and charity shopping and i came home with 3 casette tapes of 90's excellence: "generation terrorists" by manic street preachers, "leisure" by blur and "leisure noise" by gay dad. when we walked into burton, a really strange remix of "apply some pressure" was playing. so strange i didn't recognise the song at first.

i had forgotten how much i love "friends of mine" by adam green. the new one.. we aren't sure. and it has hanson on track 6 which confuses me.

i've got a list of things to write about and list of things to type up and.. yeah. sometimes it's hard to actually get things like this done when you've got a boyfriend sitting next to you begging for cuddles every five minutes like a wee puppy. bless him, but gah! i'm getting nothing done. i really wish he did have somewhere to go during the day.

i've sort of misplaced my library card. pft. but i could do with a new one anyway.

i rang the tax people and they are officially useless. and i'm useless at arguing.

ps. kids, don't forget about the strike
noitakerho: (talkin smooth+play by rules(like a lady))
holy feck. i just received an order for 30 copies of your pretty face is going straight to hell #2 from [livejournal.com profile] ciaradistro for learning to leave a paper trail distro. 30 COPIES! distros have usually asked 5 copies at a time, i just didn't expect that. i folded and stapled together the nine copies i've got printed last night. i wasn't going to make any more copies until i've finished #3 (it's going ok) and can just do it all in one go and scam a bit more (i've got glorious xerox scams at local staples, they have self service and they do not check, so you can lie your face off. which i kind of do. bad girl.) and use the £3 voucher while i'm there. and then have a big feast of folding, cutting, assembling, stapling and colouring in one night while watching hollyoaks or something. i'd say a dvd but computer doesn't have a dvd decoder and carl takes laptop with him when he goes. then again, i could do it during a weekend and rope him into it too. yeah.

and by the way, [livejournal.com profile] ciaradistro said these nice things about the zine:

"if you are curious about what i liked about your zine...i don't know. i think a big part of it is that i just moved into my own apartment (no roommates!) & it's a really gorgeous place. a big one-bedroom with an office, so it could be a two-bedroom if i wanted. but it's a gazillion times more expensive than anywhere else i have ever lived. so money is a constant struggle. reading a zine about someone who is looking for a job & living in a not-so-great living situation & trying to find an improved place & trying to make a relationship work at the same time...something about it just resonated with me. yeah, maybe it's not a totally unique experience, or all political or anything, but it still engaged me in that way i want to be engaged when i read a zine. take care."


which made me realise i need to step up a gear on what i've got so far on issue #3, its just frivulous babble so far. but i started writing something serious last night and it's not going bad. there's a whole other pile of 'serious' stuff already semi written, but that's for #4, the love issue. god.

ENOUGH OF ZINE BABBLE.

i went to do my laundry at carl's uncle's yesterday as usual and got a ride there and back from his ma and pa. and while my washing had its spinny spinny i got humped by princess the dog (or she was scratching her big fat belly against my knee. she's incredibly fat and insane. like a giant shiny mentalist rat. but she's ok) and coloured in disney princess with kayleigh age 7 and made finger puppets with her and played guess who and won every time. me and carl played afrikan tähti for a couple of hours saturday night and he won four times out of five. i should have never told him he could fly. (i'm not a very good loser sometimes)

me and carl made cookies last night. the recipe we adjusted to our abilities and resources at 9pm on a sunday night (what ever was in the cupboard, and i couldn't find the bicarbonated soda) said that each cookie is 1222 calories, but i think you would agree with me, that is IMPOSSIBLE. stupid australian women's weekly must have added an extra 2 in there. it didn't taste like 1222 calories, maybe 200 at most.

i've been wearing lots of 'lady shoes' lately. my kitten shoes, and pointy bright green ballerinas. they go nicely with the purple jeans. i love my purple jeans. i need another similar pair so i can wear other things too.

ps. my new favourite food combo is: rice and peas (with coconut and chillies!) and fried plantain. i love the plantain, it's amazing. i also like the jerk chicken that carl makes with all that but the rice and the plantain are my favorite bit.

long time.

Mar. 12th, 2008 01:26 pm
noitakerho: (little less sixteen candles)
i can't believe i haven't written anything since i went to the dentist. there's not much to write about. i've been working, and i've been nursing carl (he was ill for a day) and i've had a bit of a mentally really shit weekend. covered in self doubt, inadequacy to do much and frustration. i've spent a lot of time in bed.

i've somehow managed to half write issues #3 & #4 of your pretty face. how did that happen? but neither is anywhere near finished, and i want to finish #3 for the zine symposium (april 27th) which is over a month away, but i know myself, and know how impossible i can be.

carl went home yesterday and i woke up this morning in a panic thinking about how much council tax is. what the hell is wrong with me?

i made the most amazing pizza the other night. i'm officially amazing at pizza. SERIOUSLY. it almost made me cry how good it was and it was just your average tomato (tinned and sundried..) sweetcorn olives capers and cheese filling.

i've got to send some look books to france on carl's behalf. i didn't know gossip were playing in london next friday. sold out, but i entered a draw which i won't win.

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god. i love her a bit. she gives me chills. i'm sure i almost cried when i accidently saw them at hmv. i spent most of last night writing #4 stuff and listening to team dresch and gossip. i really should email her. but i don't know what to say..
noitakerho: (the gay is v v serious bsns)
not that anyone will, but brutal honesty meme

i somehow got stuck in the library after a trip to staples (i went home between work and staples in the end because i forgot my special paper) even though fuck all is going on in the internets. why?

i'm going to be a good girl and work really hard one ziney things. i will. and dance to one of the mixtapes in cd form i made for [livejournal.com profile] hello_amber and [livejournal.com profile] hello_maranda.

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